


Let Me In

by Sweetgirl2019



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Language, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-08-11 20:48:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetgirl2019/pseuds/Sweetgirl2019
Summary: Ian and Mickey meet different from what happened in the show. They feel the connection early on but both have years of baggage they bring to the table. All Mickey wanted was a hookup but with Ian looking at him the way he does, he doesn't think that's possible.





	1. One

*****

Passing by the bouncer with a quick nod, Ian made his way inside the club, stopping when the sudden flash of lights blinded his eyes. Taking a moment to get his bearings, he pushed his way through the crowded floor to lean against the counter.

“If it isn’t my favorite customer,” the bartender smirked. “Friday night at eight like clockwork. What are you drinking, Ian?”

“Just a beer is good,” he said, glancing up at his fried with an easy smile. “How’s it looking tonight, Benny?”

“You’re dressed in your tightest jeans and maroon tee, hair all slicked back. Put in quite the effort,” Benny teased, laughing when Ian smacked him on his arm. “Saw a couple guys that might interest you. Look over there.”

Ian followed the direction until his eyes caught sight of a tall blond standing at the back wall, his heavy muscles on display as he watched the dancers to the side.

“No thanks,” he chuckled.

“Alright, what about that one?” Benny asked, pointing again. “Dude’s got some serous bottom vibes going on.”

The second guy was another blond, standing at the edge of the dance floor, bobbing his head to the music, desperately trying to look suave despite the pool of sweat that had gathered across his brow.

“It’s like you don’t even fucking know me at all,” Ian shook his head.

“Let’s see you do better, Casanova,” Benny laughed, moving towards a small group at the other end of the bar.

Taking a sip of his beer, Ian leaned his elbows over the counter behind him, his eyes scanning the men scattered around the club. Feeling a presence on his left, he tilted his head to see a guy standing close beside him, his suit tailored, his eyes grey and his hair a dirty blond.

“I bet you could show me a good time,” he whispered, using a seductive low voice that did nothing for Ian.

“Sorry, not interested.”

“Come on, baby, let’s get out of here,” the man pushed, stepping further into Ian’s space.

“Hey, the man told you to fuck off so fuck off,” Benny’s voice suddenly boomed behind them.

The man scoffed, offended by the rejection, before pushing through the crowd.

“I can take care of myself, you know,” Ian mused, tossing his friend a look.

“Yeah, I know. But I promised Fiona I’d look after you whenever you hung out here,” Benny shrugged.

“Cockblocked by my older sister,” Ian shook his head.

“Like you were interested in what blondie was even offering,” Benny laughed, moving away again.

Ian brought his focus back forward again, letting his eyes scan through the potential options he had of guys he could take home for the night. No one piqued his interest, not even as an afterthought. Before he could call it a night and go home, his eyes caught sight of the obnoxious blond from moments before. He watched as blondie pressed against the other end of the bar where it curved around, leaning down towards a man seated on one of the stools. Ian couldn’t see his profile with the man’s back turned towards him but he could make out the dark hair that had been messily slicked backwards.

If he wasn’t going home with anyone, the least he could do was amuse himself in other ways. Giving in to his curiosity, Ian moved forward and sat at another stool closer to the two men.

“Hey baby, let’s get out of here,” the blond whispered, the words making Ian roll his eyes.

“Do I look like your fucking baby to you?” the brunet spat, his voice dangerous and low, making something in Ian’s gut twist.

Ignoring the jolt he’d felt, Ian watched as the other man stupidly leaned closer.

“Come on, baby. I bet you can pound me really good.”

“Do you want to fucking die?” the other man growled, his annoyance making Ian chuckle quietly to himself.

The blond finally took a hint and sauntered back into the crowd. Maybe third time would be a charm, Ian thought. Shaking his thoughts back into focus, Ian took another sip of his beer and watched as another man made his way forward.

“Fuck off,” was the answer before the new guy even opened his mouth.

The man rushed away, his head bowed from the rejection. Ian’s curiosity was definitely high, itching to see the man’s face to understand what all the fuss was about. By the time the third man was told off, he couldn’t sit still any longer. Lifting off his stool, he cut through the short distance and stopped just over the man’s shoulder.

“If you’re not here for a hookup, why bother coming here at all?”

When the man tilted towards him, Ian’s smirk suddenly dropped. His breath caught in his throat, all words leaving him, as he stared into the bluest pair of eyes he’d ever seen. The brunet looked him over, slowly scanning him from head to toe, before snorting.

“What’s it to you, Red?”

“Just curious,” Ian managed, swallowing the sudden nervous lump in his throat as he lowered himself on the closest stool. “One night stands not your thing?”

Blue Eyes gave him another look before shrugging. Ian took the brief pause to let his eyes properly wash over the other man, taking in his strong shoulders and the scar on his neck before his eyes landed on the tattoos inked across his knuckles.

“Fuck U-Up,” he read, a smile spreading across his face. “Those usually work on scaring people away?”

“I guess not so much these days since Fuckheads one, two and three walked up,” Mickey snorted, tilted his face back to Ian again. “You’re still here too.”

“I can leave if I’m bothering you,” Ian started, ready to swallow his disappointment if Blue Eyes told him to go.

Instead, the other man simply shrugged again. “Free country, man.”

Ian’s smile widened as he leaned his elbow over the counter. “So, one night stand’s not your thing?”

“Pitching’s not my thing.”

Ian let his mouth hang open for a moment, quickly repeating the words to himself.

“You’re telling me you look the way you do and you _bottom_?”

Blue Eyes turned towards him with a glare but Ian quickly leaned forward on the counter.

“Fuck,” he sighed. “How are you real?”

His hardened gaze grew soft as he leaned back to look over Ian, taking in his red hair, green eyes and strong arms.

“Do you come here often? How have I never seen you here before?” Ian asked before groaning at his own words. “I’m usually smoother than this when I’m picking guys up, I promise.”

“Is that what you’re doing, Red? Picking me up?” Blue Eyes smirked over his beer.

“Doing a shitty job but yeah,” Ian chuckled.

The other man bit his lower lip and Ian’s gaze instantly lowered. Lifting his bottle again, Blue Eyes took another sip as Ian dragged his gaze up to the exposed skin of his neck. Reaching over, Ian placed his palm against the other man’s throat, letting his fingers brush into the bottom strands of his hair.

“Can I buy you another drink?”

They stared at one another for a long moment, both gazes darkening before the other man rose to his feet, standing between Ian’s legs.

“Do you want to stay here and keep yapping or do you want to get on me?”

Jumping to his feet without pause, Ian reached forward and clasped their hands together, loving the perfect fit. Tugging him through the crowd, he led Blue Eyes across the bar, remembering to give the obnoxious blond a smirk as they walked past. Once they were back outside, far from the doors and in an alleyway behind the bar, Blue Eyes pressed his back against the building, spreading his legs open. A whine that he’d later deny bubbled from Ian’s chest as he took in the image before him. Beautiful, panting and nervous, waiting for Ian to make a move. Closing the distance between them, Ian slid his thigh between the open legs, pressing himself close and smiling when the other man gasped.

“You’re perfect,” Ian whispered, sliding his hands to cup the other man’s face.

Before he could press their lips together, Blue Eyes turned his face to the side.

“No kissing,” he said, tilting his gaze back to Ian’s in a challenge.

Disappointed that he couldn’t feel those full lips against his own, Ian simply nodded. Smiling through his nerves, Blue Eyes turned around and pressed his palms flat against the wall, angling his pelvis backwards.

“Get on me then, man,” he ordered, his voice breathless.

Snapping out of his daze, Ian let his hands slide down the curve of the other man’s back before pausing at his belt.

“I’m Ian,” he suddenly said.

Blue Eyes hesitated for just a second before tilting his head to the side, catching Ian’s gaze. “Mickey.”

“Mickey,” Ian repeated the name, his smile growing. “You look like a Mickey. I thought you might lie and tell me your name was Bob or Cliff.”

“We really talking right now or will you fucking get on me?” Mickey snapped.

“Bossy,” Ian chuckled, leaning in to press himself closer.

Sliding his hands around Mickey’s waist, he opened the belt and lowered the zipper, bushing the pants and boxers down in one go. Mickey took a sharp breath at the sudden coldness but moaned softly when he felt Ian rubbing his jeans against him from behind. As much as Ian wanted to tease him for hours, he wanted to feel that body around him more. Grabbing the small bottle of lube from his pocket, he pushed his own jeans and boxers down to his ankles. Slicking his pointer finger, he lowered his hand and slid the digit inside. A shudder moved through Mickey’s body as he felt the finger moving in and out. Closing his eyes and letting his head fall back onto Ian’s shoulder, he let the sensation in the pit of his stomach grow as one finger turned to two and two finally became three.

“Are you ready?” Ian’s voice brought him back to the present.

Sheathed with a condom, Ian waited until Mickey had nodded before sliding in with a single push. Mickey bit his lip from the painful stretch, feeling Ian all the way down to his toes. They stood that way for several seconds, their bodies locked together without moving before Mickey nudged Ian’s cheek with his own. Ian began moving his hips slowly, pushing in and out with a gradual pace when Mickey clenched and tossed a look over his shoulders.

“I won’t break, Firecrotch!”

Smiling at the nickname, Ian wrapped one arm around Mickey’s waist before setting a brutal pace. His lips moved to Mickey’s neck, bruising the skin with hickeys as his hips snapped back and forth. With his mouth spread open, Mickey pressed his forehead against the wall, biting his lip to stifle his moans.

“Stop holding back,” Ian whispered, his own voice starting to crack. “I want to hear you.”

His free hand lifted to curl over Mickey’s, their fingers twining together above their heads. Mickey pulled his other hand away from the wall, sliding his fingers into Ian’s hair and dragging his nails against the scalp, making the pleasure build quicker in Ian’s gut. He let his lips travel across the smooth skin of Mickey’s neck, leaving new bruises beside the old. Dragging his tongue over the scar, he bit hard at the skin as Mickey cried out. Two more thrusts and both fell over the edge, spilling their pleasures between them.

They stood with their bodies connected, breathing heavily, nether wanting to let go. Ian would have normally pulled away, fixing his clothes and disappearing into the night but with Mickey, he held on. With Mickey, he brought their joint hands down to wrap around the other man’s waist, pressing a kiss against Mickey’s shoulder. Forcing himself to pull out, he tossed the condom into the open dumpster behind them, nosing the spot behind Mickey’s ear when the other man whined from the loss. Sliding his lips across the neck, he peppered soft kisses against the skin, taking a second to admire the bruises.

“Fuck, you look amazing,” he smiled, lifting their joint hands to slide their fingers across the marks.

The words suddenly snapped Mickey out of his orgasm induced fog. Slowly untangling himself, he pulled his boxers and pants back up his legs, fastening his belt.

“So, thanks,” Mickey muttered, avoiding Ian’s eyes.

“Mickey, that was epic sex we just had. I’m still catching my fucking breath,” Ian smiled. “Please tell me that wasn’t a one time thing.

Mickey bit his lower lip, pausing for a moment before a look of indifference slid into place.

“Sorry, Red, not what I was after,” he said, gazing at Ian a final time before making his way through the alley.

“Mickey, wait!” Ian called out, quickly fixing his own clothes.

Chasing after the other man, Ian reached him just as they entered the sidewalk.

“Hey, wait a second,” he said, slipping in front of him and cutting his escape. “That wasn’t us just getting off back there. We connected, Mickey.”

“It was a hookup, Red. Nothing more.”

Ian took a step back, his eyes growing hard. “You always let your hookups hold you after blowing your load?”

Mickey froze at the words, swallowing hard before noticing a cab parked to the side.

“See you around, Firecrotch,” he said, not meeting Ian’s gaze as he slid past him into the waiting cab.

Ian watched as the driver pulled away from the curb, running a hand across his eyes in frustration. Licking his lips, he took a deep breath as the taste of Mickey’s skin lingered in his mouth. Rubbing his face in exhaustion, he turned around and made his way down the sidewalk, disappearing in the shadows towards home.

*****  


Opening the door to his apartment twenty minutes later, Mickey slipped inside just as his sister stood from the sofa.

“Someone had a good time,” Mandy smirked, staring at his neck and his hand quickly shot up to cover the bruises.

“How was he?” Mickey asked, changing the subject to a roll of her eyes.

“He was good. Fell asleep watching cartoons. Been passed out for two hours now,” she said before clearing her throat. “You didn’t have to rush home. You could have stayed out. I don’t mind staying.”

“I’m good,” he shook his head, moving to grab a beer from his fridge. “Are you staying or going home?”

“I’ll go home,” she sighed, lifting her purse.

He grabbed her arm gently before she could walk past him. “You don’t have to go back to that deadbeat asshole boyfriend. You’re better than that piece of shit.”

“And you’re better than being a one night stand,” she threw back, her words making him look away. “That asshole really did a number on us, didn’t he?”

“He’s fucking dead. That’s all that matters,” Mickey answered, his voice low.

Mandy opened her mouth to say something more but opted out and quietly walked out the door. Moving towards his son’s bedroom, Mickey peered his head through the door, watching Yevgeny sleep for several seconds before moving across the apartment towards his bathroom. Switching his light on, he leaned forward over the sink to stare at his reflection in the mirror. The right side of his neck was littered in dark bruises. Pressing his fingers against the marks, he let out a breath and closed his eyes.

*****  


As Ian walked into his apartment, he sighed at the sight of his brother sprawled over his sofa.

“Why did I give you a key again?” he asked, slipping his shoes off and making his way over.

“It was either me or Fiona,” Lip shrugged. “As much as I hate to be traumatized by seeing your naked ass getting busy with some other jerk, I figured you’d hate it more if it was Fiona.”

Snorting in reply, Ian dropped beside Lip with a sigh, a smile spreading across his face.

“You have a nice night?” Lip asked.

Frowning, Ian tilted his head when Lip motioned his messy hair with a smirk.

“Shit,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair to tame the strands. “I had a great night. The best night.”

“Another twink at the bar?” Lip snorted.

“Anything but,” Ian shook his head. “He was perfect.”

Lip chuckled, turning on the couch to face his brother. “Let me guess. You’re in love already?”

Smacking his shoulder, Ian pressed his head against the back of the sofa.

“You don’t get it. It wasn’t just some hookup in the alley behind the club,” he argued before groaning. “I mean, technically it was but it was more than that. I felt a connection with him.”

“Did you get his number?”

“No,” Ian admitted before smiling. “I got his name though. Mickey.”

“Did you two stand around after and talk about your feelings?” Lip teased.

“No, Dickhead! He ran off.”

Lip snorted at the words. “Hate to break it to you, little brother, but it sounds like your connection may be one sided.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Ian sighed. “There was something in his eyes, this look. I think he wanted to stay.”

“Did you see a wedding ring?”

“What? No!” Ian snapped at the sudden question.

“Just saying, man. Your track record speaks for itself.”

“One married guy, Lip!” he said before rolling his eyes at the bored look Lip was giving. “Alright, three! But he didn’t have a ring and he didn’t have that line from a ring being removed either.”

“So you _did_ look,” Lip chuckled but quickly sobered when he saw the look in Ian’s eyes. “You actually like this guy.”

“I really do,” he sighed, looked through his balcony window to the dark vastness of the sky.

“Don’t stress yourself out. The guy will probably show up at the same place, same time next week.

“I really fucking hope so,” he muttered.

“Just tell me one thing,” Lip started, waiting until Ian had turned back towards him. “Is he at least your age because after Kash and Ned, you may have a type and it’s not a good one.”

Ian narrowed his gaze but Lip simply raised his brow.

“He was young, maybe a couple years older than me.”

“Good, because I can only beat the shit out of so many people.”

“Still can’t believe you punched both Kash _and_ Ned,” Ian laughed.

“When pervy assholes take advantage of my little brother, they meet my fist,” Lip shrugged.

Ian nudged his shoulder and they shared a small smile.

“You really think he’ll show up again?” he asked after several beats of silence.

“Didn’t Kash use to wax poetic about your magic junk? Pretty sure this Mickey guy will show.”

Ian shook his head as Lip moved to grab another beer. Sliding down on the cushions, he let his fingers press against his lips for a second time, his smile slowly growing.


	2. TWO

*****

Lowering the volume, Mickey glanced down at his young son, seated at his side with his head pressed against Mickey’s shoulder.

“You sure you’re not hungry? You didn’t finish your dinner.”

Yev yawned as he shook his head. “I’m good, Dad.”

“It’s almost eight. You know what that means?”

“Bedtime,” Yev grumbled, reaching his small arms in the air to stretch.

Switching off the television, Mickey rose from the couch and pulled Yev up behind him. “Brush your teeth and change into your PJs.”

“Hey Dad?” Yev asked, turning towards Mickey at the edge of the hallway. “What do your knuckles say?”

“Fuck U Up,” Mickey said before sighing.

“You owe a dollar to the swear jar!” Yev laughed, dodging the pillow Mickey was throwing and rushing towards the bathroom.

“Getting my ass handed to me by my fucking kid,” he muttered, grabbing a dollar from his wallet and shoving it in the full jar from the top cabinet.

A sudden knock made him drag his feet over and swing the door open.

“Hey, Mick,” Mandy greeted, pushing past him inside.

“Guessing Kenyatta’s working the night shift again?” he asked, shutting the door and following her into the room.

She nodded and reached for a beer in the fridge, taking a long sip before turning back to him.

“You’d tell me if it was more than that, right?” he asked her.

“Everything’s fine, Mick,” she rolled her eyes. “Just missed the kid. Where is he?”

“Getting ready for bed.”

“Bed? It’s Friday night!” she laughed, looking towards the hallway. “Hey Yev, it’s Aunt Mandy!”

A thunderous run came from the hallway as Yev rushed into her arms, pushing her off balance towards the couch.

“Getting pretty strong there, buddy. Almost as strong as your Dad. Pretty soon you’ll be taller too,” she smirked.

Mickey gave her the finger behind his son’s back.

“Are you staying over tonight?” Yev asked, his eyes wide and his smile bright.

“Yeah, I was thinking you and I can have a movie night. We’ll pick something awesome, eat some popcorn and stay up late past your bedtime,” she said and glanced up at Mickey. “If your Dad doesn’t spoil the fun.”

“Can we, Dad? Please?” Yev pleaded.

Glaring at Mandy’s innocent smile, he sighed and nodded. “When you’re a zombie tomorrow morning, walking around all tired, don’t fucking blame me.”

“Dad! Another dollar!” Yev pointed.

“Fucking fuck,” he muttered as both Mandy and Yev chuckled.

“That’s three!

Taking a deep breath and keeping his mouth shut, he slipped three more bills into the jar.

“So, what movie do you wanna watch tonight?” Mandy asked, settling on the couch.

“How about the Wizard of Oz?” Yev perked up.

“I dunno, kid. The witch is kinda scary,” Mickey said, giving Mandy another secret finger when she laughed into her fist. “Maybe pick something more fun.”

“How about Nemo?” Yev looked between them.

“Now we’re talking,” Mickey nodded, making his way over to the small collection of films and pulling the disc out.

Once the cartoon had started, Mandy rose from the couch and dragged Mickey into the kitchen with her.

“I wasn’t inviting you to movie night.”

“The fuck? It’s my apartment,” he growled.

Rolling her eyes, she pushed past him to grab the popcorn, tossing it in the microwave. “I meant I want you to go out. Go to a bar, go to a club. Get fucked in more than one way.”

“What the hell is with you and my fuck schedule?” he asked, keeping his voice low.

“Mickey, you’re a grumpy asshole on a good day. At least when you get laid, you’re a bit easier to take,” she said, crossing her arms at her chest.

He pushed back against the counter, staring past her shoulder to Yev who was laughing at the film.

“I don’t like not being here when he’s going to bed.”

“Mick, that’s sweet. Three words I never thought I’d say,” she said, shaking her head. “He’ll be fine. We’re gonna have a great time, me and him. Go out and let yourself have a little fun. You had a good time last week, didn’t you? Go back to the same club.”

The microwave sounded and she pulled the popcorn out, letting it cool for a moment before pouring it into a bowl.

“Go take a shower, wear those tight jeans that make your ass look amazing and go have some fun.”

“Why the fuck do you know about jeans that make my ass look amazing?” he hissed.

She gave him a wink and made her way back to the couch. Rubbing his tired eyes, he slipped down the hallway and paused outside his closet. Reaching for his dark jeans, he shook his head.

“Fucking Mandy.”

********

Running a hand through his hair, Ian glanced down at his dark jeans and navy tee. Smoothing the shirt down his chest, he made his way towards the bar and instantly scanned the faces.

“Looking for Blue Eyes?” Benny teased from behind.

“His name’s Mickey,” Ian said, keeping his eyes focused on the crowd.

“Must have been a really good lay if he’s got you coming back here looking for him.”

“It was more than good, Benny. It was fucking perfect.”

Seeing a tall brunet make his way over, Ian held his hand up and shook his head to deter the other man’s movements. Once the man had walked away, Ian’s eyes fixed at a spot on the other end of the bar. A feeling of warmth blossomed in his chest as he watched Mickey lean back against the counter, sipping at his beer, looking even better than Ian remembered. Before he could take a step forward, a blond leaned down beside Mickey, a lazy grin filling his bearded face. A wave of jealousy shot through Ian’s body as he watched the blond reach out to touch Mickey’s arm. Unable to quench the sudden possessiveness, he pushed away from the bar and made his way over. The moment Mickey’s gaze locked with his and recognition filled his blue eyes, Ian’s anger melted away.

“Hey Baby,” he smiled, slipping between the two and sliding his arm across Mickey’s shoulders. “Sorry I’m late.”

“He didn’t say he was taken,” the blond argued, glancing between them.

“Well, he fucking is,” Ian smirked, his arm tightening just a bit.

Before the blond could push his way forward, Mickey pressed two fingers against the man’s chest.

“Need me to show you where the fucking door is? Fuck off!”

The man stood rooted in place, shooting them a glare.

“Seriously, Fuckhead?” Mickey took a step forward.

The sudden move made the man stumble backwards and disappear through the crowd.

Smiling brightly, Ian forced himself to pull his arm away. “Hi.”

“I could have fucking handled that prick,” Mickey said, his brow raised in amusement.

“I know, tough guy,” Ian chuckled. “Dude was a douche. Seen him here before.”

Mickey nodded, watching his face before leaning back on his stool. “Anyone catch your fancy tonight?”

“Mickey,” Ian started, his soft voice making their eyes drift together again. “I’m really, really glad that you’re here.”

Smirking to hide his own nerves, Mickey played with Ian’s tee, letting his fingers press against the exposed skin at his neck. “Miss me, Red?”

“Yeah, I did,” Ian said, moving closer and standing between Mickey’s open legs.

“Did I ruin you for all other guys?” Mickey chuckled.

“You really fucking did,” Ian whispered, his words sending a shiver down Mickey’s spine. “Been thinking about you all week. You ran off on me.”

“Was just looking for a good time, Firecrotch,” Mickey smirked.

Ian watched him for a long moment before a smile slipped back on his face. “Come dance with me.”

“I don’t fucking dance, man.”

Ian’s smile widened as he took Mickey’s hand and led him to the mass of bodies. Turning to face him, he watched as Mickey’s nervous eyes jumped around the dancing crowd. Feeling a need to ease the other man’s fears away, Ian turned them until Mickey was facing the other direction and pulled his hips backwards to settle him against his own chest.

“What are you doing?” Mickey stumbled, biting his lower lip.

“Just dance with me,” Ian whispered, pressing his crotch forward.

“Fuck,” Mickey whispered, closing his eyes when he felt Ian move against him.

“Those jeans make your ass look amazing,” Ian growled, breaking Mickey out of his daze as he thought of his sister’s smirk.

All thoughts of Mandy slipped away when Ian twined their hands together, sliding their joint arms around Mickey’s body, bringing them even closer. Dropping his face to Mickey’s neck, he nosed behind his ear and took a breath.

“You smell so fucking great.”

Mickey let him move them to the music, feeling his skin flush from the tight embrace before snapping his eyes open and pulling away.

“Outside,” he breathed.

Smiling happily, Ian took his hand and led them through the crowd. Instead of walking to the alleyway, he steered them to the lot where his car was parked at the end.

“No alley this time?” Mickey smirked.

“Want to feel you properly,” Ian tossed over his shoulder.

He slid in the backseat and Mickey waited for a moment before following, shutting the door behind him. The streetlamp overhead gave enough light for them to see as Ian pressed against the seat, pulling Mickey over his lap to straddle his legs. They stared at one another for several moments, their breathing growing labored until Ian began trailing his lips down Mickey’s neck.

“I had those fucking marks all week,” Mickey managed, tilting his head for Ian to press even closer. “They faded yesterday.”

A sudden bite against his collarbone made him moan, his lands slipping into Ian’s hair.

“Enough with the fucking foreplay,” he growled, pushing Ian back. “You planning on doing this?”

“Foreplay matters, Mickey,” Ian smiled, letting his hands trail down to curve around Mickey’s cheeks, pulling him in. “Foreplay means I can swallow you down or eat you out.”

“Fucking what?” Mickey stuttered, his breath catching.

“You’ve had blow jobs before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I fucking have!” Mickey snapped.

“Has anyone ever eaten you out?”

When Mickey swallowed hard, Ian’s eyes widened.

“You don’t know what you’re missing!" Ian smiled, letting one hand trail under Mickey’s waistband, his fingers pressing in.

“Just get in me,” Mickey whispered.

Nodding at the urgency, Ian pulled his hand out and unbuckled his belt. Once his pants and boxers were kicked away, he helped Mickey remove his. Before he could reach for their shirts, Mickey snapped his hand out to stop him.

“Shirt stays on.”

Seeing the hard look in his eyes, Ian nodded and pulled him close. Grabbing the bottle of lube from his pocket, he slicked his fingers and slid one in. Mickey’s mouth opened, panting at the sudden intrusion as he lowered his face against Ian’s shoulder. Ian kept the movement slow, sliding the finger out and back in again. When he was finally three fingers deep, Mickey pushed at his arm.

“I’m good,” he whispered, keeping his face pressed against Ian’s skin.

Once the condom was wrapped around him, he pushed Mickey’s head backwards, needing to see his face. Their eyes locked on each other as Ian lifted Mickey by his hips before dragging him back down. Gasping at the feeling of fullness, Mickey let his hands slide up to Ian’s face, cupping his cheeks as they started rocking their bodies together.

“Let me kiss you,” Ian pleaded, his thrusts growing more erratic.

Mickey shook his head and let his head fall forward again, pressing his lips against Ian’s chest. Tightening his hold around Mickey’s waist, Ian let his own lips trail across Mickey’s neck and shoulders, his teeth leaving bruises against the pale skin. He suddenly slowed their movements until he was almost all the way out. When Mickey whimpered from the loss, Ian felt his heart expand and slammed his way back in. The pace was hard, their bodies moving together as the windows fogged around them.

“Are you close?” Ian whispered.

“Fuck me harder and I will be!” Mickey snapped.

Laughing at the challenge, he gripped Mickey’s shoulders and shifted their bodies. With Mickey pinned beneath him, his legs wrapped tight around Ian’s waist, he pushed in at a brutal pace. Every thrust made Mickey moan, the sounds shooting heat through Ian’s body. Feeling the familiar coil in his gut, he reached down and stroked Mickey over and over. When his teeth closed over Mickey’s collarbone, Mickey arched his back with a silent scream, the pleasure in his face sending Ian off the edge behind him.

They panted together, their bodies pinned close, neither having the energy to pull away. Tilting his face inward, Ian licked a bead of sweat from Mickey’s neck. The intimate touch made Mickey tighten his arms around Ian’s shoulders with a sigh.

“Definitely ruined me for other guys,” Ian chuckled, leaning up on his elbows. “Fuck, that was amazing.”

Mickey watched him in silence, his hand moving to Ian’s cheek briefly before his expression closed off.

“Get off me, man. You weigh a fucking ton.”

Pulling out, he kissed Mickey’s arm in apology before sitting back on the seat. Reaching for his towel in the gym bag at his feet, he wiped himself down and pushed the cloth over. They cleaned up in silence, pulling their boxers and pants back on.

“It smells like fucking sex in here,” Mickey said, opening the door and climbing out.

“Kind of what happened,” Ian smirked, following him into the cool night air and leaning against the side of his car. “So, that was amazing.”

“You said that already,” Mickey said, lighting a smoke and taking a drag.

He offered the pack over but Ian pulled him in by his arm, taking the smoke from Mickey’s lips and slipping it between his own. Their eyes stayed locked for several seconds until Mickey snapped out of his daze and yanked the smoke back to his own mouth, taking a step away.

“I really wanna do that again.”

Whirling back around, Mickey couldn’t help but laugh at the words. “Give me a few minutes, man.”

“No,” Ian chuckled, pushing himself away from the car. “I don’t mean right now. I mean again, later. Can I have your number?”

Looking off to the side, Mickey sighed. “Look, man, I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“Who says I am?” Ian asked.

“Dude, you have the fucking word ‘boyfriend’ stamped on your forehead.”

“I’ll take that as a fucking compliment,” Ian laughed as he pulled Mickey towards him. “You and me, this is fun. Feels fucking awesome. Want that feeling to happen again.”

Mickey bit his lip, the smoke dangling from his tattooed fingers.

“Like a fuck buddy thing?” he asked, peering up at Ian through his lashes.

“If that’s what you want,” Ian nodded. “It just makes it more convenient. Don’t have to wait until Friday, hoping you’ll show so I can rock your world again.”

“Rocked _my_ world?” Mickey snapped, feeling his nerves wash away. “I rocked _your_ fucking world, Red.”

“Yeah, you really fucking did,” Ian smiled, pulling Mickey back against his chest and pinning the shorter man in his arms.

“You always this personal with all your fuck buddies?” Mickey asked after a moment.

“Never had one before. Don’t know the rules,” Ian shrugged.

“No kissing,” Mickey reminded.

“I can kiss every other part of your body but not your lips. Anything else?”

“No biting or hickeys above the collar. Was a bitch covering that shit up last week.”

Ian tilted his head, lifting his hand to press against the marks already showing against the pale skin. His gaze darkened as he stared at the bruises, licking his lips before meeting Mickey’s eyes again.

“Anything else?” he asked, his voice growing quiet.

Mickey shook his head and let their faces linger close before untangling himself and moving back. Reaching for his phone, he unlocked the screen and looked up expectantly, the smoke dangling from his full lips. Ian uttered the digits and waited a second before he felt a buzz in his pocket. Unlocking his own screen, he smiled at the text Mickey had sent him.

**_See you soon, Red._**

He looked up, his smile growing when Mickey rapped his knuckles against Ian's cheek before turning away.

“Is tomorrow too early?” he called after him.

All Mickey did was raise his finger above his head before disappearing through the shadows. Leaning back against his car, Ian laughed at the giddy feeling inside his chest.

  
********

Walking into his apartment an hour later, Mandy was smiling with Yev pressed against her, the volume lowered as the boy slept soundly at her side. Smiling down at his son, he gently lifted him in his arms and carried him to his bedroom. Tucking him in under the covers, he caressed the hair out of Yev’s face before walking back out, closing the door behind him.

“Guess you had another nice night?” Mandy asked, pointing to the bruises on his neck.

Rolling his eyes, he moved to grab beers for them both and fell on the couch beside her. They sat together, drinking their beers in silence, until she reached for her purse on the table.

“You could stay here,” he blurted.

She whipped her face to his, her brows lowered in confusion.

“You’d tell me if that Fuckhead was hurting you, right?”

“Mick, I told you, I’m fine,” she said.

He watched her for a long time as she shifted under his hard gaze.

“He’s not always like that,” she finally relented.

“Does he fucking hurt you?” he asked, his voice growing cold.

“Mickey, I’m fine. I can handle it,” she said, glancing around the room. “If the offer still stands, I’ll bunk here tonight. He’s out drinking with his friends anyway.”

He sighed as he got to his feet. “Take the bed. I’ll sleep out here.”

“We can share,” she offered before scrunching her nose. “After you shower though. You smell like you had your brains fucked out.”

“Take the fucking bed,” he growled, moving past her towards the fridge.

She smiled and walked towards the bedroom before stopping at the end of the hallway. “Thanks, Mick.”

He released a heavy sigh but kept his back to her until he heard the bedroom door shut in the distance. Moving to the couch, he fell against the cushions and winced, finally feeling the ache. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his cell and switched on the screen.

**_Goodnight, Mick_**

Fear suddenly shot through him and he looked over his shoulder on instinct. Tossing his phone to the side, he lowered his face and closed his eyes.


	3. THREE

*****

Wiping the counter with a clean towel, Ian smiled to himself, oblivious to the world around him.

“What’s got you so happy today?”

Whirling around, his smile widened as his friend Kimmy stocked the tea bags and the napkins.

“Can’t I just be happy?” Ian shrugged.

“There’s regular happy and then there’s ‘I just had the best sex of my life’ happy. You’re the latter right now and you’re freaking me out,” the blonde exclaimed, tightening her apron as she moved to stand behind the register.

A group of students made their way over, selecting their coffees as Kimmy punched the order in. Making his way to the brew station, Ian worked the fancy machine and easily finished the four drinks. Once the group had made their way to a booth in the back, Kimmy leaned against the counter with an expectant stare.

“Alright, so maybe I had amazing sex the other night,” he relented.

After he and Mickey had been together in his car, Ian had felt like he was floating on cloud nine. Three days had passed and as much as the memories kept Ian going, he still felt disappointed that Mickey hadn’t reached out to him.

“I get what that look is,” Kimmy said with a dramatic sigh. “You met a guy, fucked him until you both saw stars and now you can’t get him out of your head. It was a one night stand, Ian. When did you become such a clingy little shit?”

“First, it wasn’t a one night stand. I know his name and got his number too,” he corrected. “Second, I’m not clingy. He’s just…different.”

“Let me guess, you saw Blue Eyes again?”

Spinning around, he rolled his eyes as Lip leaned over the counter with a smirk.

“Yeah I fucking did and his name's Mickey,” Ian snapped.

“Ooh, Mickey,” Kimmy whispered.

“How about you take those orders,” Ian pointed to the couple that had walked in.

“Yes Sir, Boss Manager Sir,” she chuckled, making her was back to the register.

Lip tilted his head to the side and Ian followed his brother further down the counter.

“So you and this Mickey guy, is this a thing now?” he asked, reaching over the counter to grab a muffin.

“Hey! Those are for paying customers!”

“Yeah and I’m your fucking brother,” Lip shrugged. “What’s the point of you being the Manager here if I can’t get free shit?”

Sighing heavily, Ian leaned his elbows on the counter, not bothering to argue.

“So where’d you fuck him this time? Alley again?” Lip asked, taking a large bite of the muffin.

“Do you have to be so fucking crude?”

“Yeah, Ian, I really fucking do,” Lip smirked, brushing a crumb off his cheek. “Stop keeping me in suspense, man.”

“Yes, we hooked up again but I got his number this time and not just any shitty number. His actual number,” Ian snapped.

Lip simply rolled his eyes. “Did you call him?”

Clearing his throat, Ian rose from the counter and started cleaning an invisible spot beside him. “No.”

“Did you text him?”

When Ian looked away, Lip shook his head.

“How you got as much ass as you did still amazes me sometimes,” he chuckled. “Why are you acting like a shy little girl? Just text the guy!”

“I don’t want to scare him off,” Ian sighed. “I was already hugging him and shit.”

“Seriously?” Lip deadpanned. “Yeah, I’d fucking avoid you too.”

“Look, I’m all about the hookups and walking away bullshit but I’m telling you, it feels different with Mick. It feels right in a way that it hasn’t before.”

“Giving him a nickname already?” Lip asked before laughing. “Shit, you really _do_ like him.”

Ian flushed as he looked away, taking a moment to help Kimmy clear the sudden line. When he made his way back over, Lip was watching him with a thoughtful expression.

“You should text the guy.”

“What would I say? ‘Hey, it’s Ian, the guy you hooked up with twice. Wanna be my boyfriend?’” he scoffed.

“Give me your phone,” Lip waved, extending his hand.

Ian hesitated before unlocking his screen and handing it over. Typing for several seconds, Lip grinned at the text and flipped the phone back towards Ian.

**_Hey Beautiful, it’s Ian, the guy who rocked your world the other night. I can’t stop thinking about you like the dopey ginger idiot I am. Can we get married? I wanna have your babies._**

“Lip, what the fuck?” he snapped before noticing his eighty year old regular customer standing beside them. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Hackenson.”

Lip smirked but stayed silent as the old lady moved closer.

“Don't worry, dear. My husband use to swear all the time,” she smiled. “Boyfriend troubles again?”

“You’ve told this sweet lady about your guy issues?” Lip chuckled.

“Yes, because unlike some people, she’s not a dipshit,” he hissed, ignoring Lip’s narrowed gaze as he helped Mrs. Hackenson to her regular spot near the window.

When he made his way back after a few minutes, Lip was grinning as he bit into another muffin. Ian frowned before his eyes landed on the cell phone he’d forgotten on the counter.

“I will kill you and they won’t find your body.”

Lip’s smirk widened as he gave a wink to Kimmy and strolled out of the cafe. Grabbing his cell with nervous hands, he scrolled to his messages and froze. Not only had Lip sent the text but the two blue checkmarks meant Mickey had already seen it.

“Fuck!” he growled, oblivious to the people around him for the second time that day.

********

Mickey stared down at the text with wide eyes. “What the fuck?”

His overalls were tied at his waist, his white undershirt already smeared with engine oil from the car he’d work on before taking his break.

“Hey Mickey!”

Looking up, he watched as his Boss made his way over, stopping to lean on the bench. “What’s got you all spooked?”

“Nothing,” he swallowed and put his phone away.

In the three years he’d been at Eddie’s garage, Mickey had never revealed his sexual preferences to him or the three other guys who worked there. In the beginning, the guys had teased him, desperate to get details into Mickey’s personal life. After a final angry encounter, Eddie had eased the tension between the men and told the others to back off. It took another three shifts before the others had moved on and everyone was friends again. After that day, Eddie had always watched him with a kinder smile but had never voiced his suspicions.

“Alright, well, Mr. Perry just picked up the Cadillac. He was really impressed with the work you did on the car. Wanted me to tell you he’d recommend you to some of his friends.”

For the first two years, Mickey had occupied his time as a regular mechanic, working on cars like the rest. When the bills and expenses for Yev became steep, Mickey had branched out, spending hours awake after putting his son to bed, researching on Mandy’s computer. One year later, he tuned classic and performance cars on the side, making a small name for himself from word of mouth that traveled through the streets. The money he received was better than his regular gig but Eddie had refused when Mickey had wanted to split the earnings. He was a kind, older man, looking to retire in the next few years and was more than happy to let Mickey do his thing.

“Thanks again for letting me do the jobs from here.”

“Mickey, you really need to stop thanking me,” Eddie smiled.

“It’s your fucking garage, man,” Mickey sighed.

Shaking his head, Eddie leaned over to pat Mickey’s shoulder. “By the way, you have a hickey right there.”

Making a noise, Mickey grabbed his phone and switched to the camera, looking at his collarbone with a groan. Eddie chuckled as he moved away, making Mickey quickly wear his overalls again. Cursing under his breath, he scrolled through his phone to send Ian a scathing text when he remembered the message again. As he opened Ian’s name, his eyes scanned over several news texts he’d received.

**_I am SO fucking sorry!_**

** _ Please ignore that text! My fucking brother thinks he’s a comedian!_ **

** _ I do NOT want to marry you and have your babies! I mean, I wouldn’t mind._ **

** _ Shit!_ **

Instead of the usual panic that would have already set in, Mickey found himself laughing fondly. He still felt nervous, his insides close to bursting, but rather than ignoring the texts, he wanted to ease the other man instead.

**_So you don’t think I’m beautiful?_**

“Fuck, did I just send that?” he groaned to himself.

**_Yes you fucking are! You are so beautiful!_**

Mickey chuckled, his blush darkening when Ian sent another text.

**_Wait, I’m confused as shit! Do you want me to disagree? In that case, no man! You’re fucking ugly!_**

Laughing out loud, Mickey lowered the phone and rubbed a hand across his face. He’d only been out to Mandy and a few members of his family for a handful of years. In all that time since, all he’d allowed were blow and hand jobs in back alleyways and the occasional fuck when he was drunk enough to let his guard down for a few minutes. He never flirted, engaged or let himself have a proper relationship. Too terrified to do anything different.

Shaking the dark thoughts away, he stared at his phone as a new text came through.

**_Did I just totally ruin this?_**

Mickey bit his lip, a part of him wanting to set Ian’s record straight. They weren’t together or dating. All they had agreed on was being fuck buddies. But a bigger part of him, the one that yearned for something more but was buried behind years of pain and fear he’d lived in, kept his mouth quiet.

**_Nah, man, don’t worry about it. I got three older brothers. They used to be total shits._**

**_ So you won’t lose my number??_** Ian’s reply came through.

Mickey hesitated before answering. **_No._**

Taking a deep breath, he came to rise from the bench when a smiley text came through.

**_Well if I haven’t scared you away yet, when can I see you next?_**

Mickey looked at the clock overhead before sighing.

**_Not tonight but I’ll text you later, Firecrotch._**

Ian’s reply was instant. **_I want to send you so many smiley faces but I’ll be chill. Bye Mickey_**

Pocketing his phone, he made his way back inside the garage to finish his shift. When six in the evening hit, he changed into his street clothes and drove to the after hours daycare he left Yevgeny in. Yev spoke his ear off in the car, rambling about all his new friends until they finally reached their apartment. As they stepped out of the elevator, Mickey froze. Mandy was sitting with her face lowered but the bruise on her cheek and the cut on her lip were clear. Swallowing hard, he unlocked his door and left it open for her to follow.

“Go pee and change your clothes while I get dinner started,” he said, ushering his son down the hall. “Don’t forget to wash your hands!”

Once the door to the bathroom had closed, Mickey turned around and slowly approached his sister as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Kenyatta do this?”

She took a deep breath before meeting his eyes. “I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?” he growled.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d get like this!” she cried, looking down at his clenched fists. “Mickey, please don’t do anything crazy.”

“You’re my fucking sister, Mandy! I’ll fucking kill him!”

“No, please! Just stop!” she pleaded, rushing over and grabbing his hands. “I’m out of there. I’ll go back in a couple days when he’s at work and grab the rest of my stuff.”

“That’s not good enough,” he snapped, his anger barely reigned in. “He can’t fucking hurt you and get away with that shit.”

“Mickey, it’s not Dad all over again,” she spoke quietly, tears filling her dark eyes. “Please just let it go.”

He took a deep breath and forced himself to deflate. “You can stay here.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, releasing her grip on his hands. “I’ll get dinner started.”

She moved towards the sink as he walked down the hallway, knocking gently on Yev’s bedroom. The door opened after a moment and Mickey stepped in to see his son pulling his pajamas on.

“Hey kid, I gotta step out for a bit but Aunt Mandy’s here and she’ll get your dinner and tuck you in, okay?” he said, kneeling down to ruffle Yev’s hair.

“Is Aunt Mandy okay?” he asked, worry filling his young face. “She looked sad.”

Mickey felt the tears prickle his eyes but forced himself to smile. “Her face is a bit hurt but she’ll be fine. Don’t cause her any trouble, okay?”

Yev nodded and Mickey pressed a kiss to his temple before stepping out of the room.

“Mickey?” Mandy asked, watching him storm towards the door. “Mickey, please don’t!”

The door shut behind him as Mandy took a shaky breath. Hearing small footsteps behind her, she quickly wiped her eyes and faced her nephew with a smile.

“How about we watch another movie?”

Yev nodded but stepped closer towards her instead. “Are you okay, Aunt Mandy? Dad said you were hurt but you’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, buddy, I’m fine,” she smiled.

Yev perked up at the words, his worry quickly leaving as he made his way towards their DVD collection. Mandy watched him for several seconds before spinning around, making sure to hide her face as she burst into tears.

  
********

Knowing where Kenyatta spent his time most nights, Mickey parked his car on the side of the street and rushed towards the Alibi. Stopping just inside the doors, he took a deep breath as the memory of four years ago suddenly hit him. He hadn’t stepped foot in the bar since that night, desperate to keep the memories locked away.

“Mickey Milkovich!”

Looking over to the counter, he watched as the owner waved him over with a bright smile.

“Holy shit, man! I haven’t seen you in years!” Kevin hollered.

“Not here to fucking stay,” Mickey growled. “Where the fuck’s Kenyatta?”

“Who?” Kevin frowned.

“My sister’s piece of shit boyfriend.”

Seeing the rage in Mickey’s eyes, Kevin walked around the bar to stand in front of him. “What the hell happened, man? You look ready to kill.”

“Where the fuck is he, Kevin?”

The sudden sound of laughter reached his ears and he slowly turned to see Kenyatta walking down the stairs with a prostitute behind him. The moment he was back on ground level, smiling at his friends by the pool table, Mickey pushed past a worried Kevin and stalked across the bar. Grabbing one of the pool cues from the wall, he closed the distance just as his friends noticed his appearance. Before either could make a noise to alert him, Mickey whipped the cue hard across Kenyatta’s back, sending the large man down to the floor, wailing in pain. The noise around them instantly silenced, the patrons rising from their chairs and watching the scene unfold without movement.

“You think you can hit my fucking sister and get away with it?” Mickey shouted, hitting Kenyatta across the chest.

The other man rolled over on the floor, spiting blood from his split lip. Before the two friends could make any move to defend him, Kevin pulled out the shotgun from behind the bar and aimed it straight at their heads. They swallowed and stepped backwards, their hands raised in defense as Mickey dropped the cue and fell forward, using his fists on Kenyatta over and over again. When the other man was nothing but a bleeding mess on the floor, two of the patrons moved forward and pulled Mickey to his feet. Yanking himself free, he kneeled down again to lift the other man’s head from the floor.

“You and her are done, you fucking hear me?” he growled. “If you ever come near her again, I’ll fucking kill you. You’re not from around here you piece of shit but ask around. They’ll tell you which Milkovich I am.”

Dropping him onto the floor, he rose to his feet and inhaled sharply. His nerves were shot, his insides battling a war inside him. Looking back at Kevin, he finally noticed the silent crowd that had gathered around him.

“Mickey, get out of here before the cops come. These shitheads won’t cause any trouble, I promise,” Kevin said, motioning towards the door.

Without another backwards glance, Mickey all but ran out of the bar, not stopping until he was back in his car with the door locked behind him. Staring down at his bruised knuckles, he pressed his head back against the seat, desperate to keep his tears from falling. Reaching for his phone with shaky hands, he brought up his messages and typed out a text before his mind could stop him.

**_You free right now?_**

Sitting on his couch flipping through the channels in his apartment, Ian glanced down when his phone pinged beside him. A smile covered his face when he saw the text and quickly responded.

**_Just sitting at home, watching TV. Why, do you have a better alternative?_**

Mickey bit his trembling lip as he hesitated. He knew he should go home, to ease the worry Mandy was feeling, and spend the night watching his son as he fell asleep. But a part of him, deep down inside that felt the memories of four years ago so strongly, knew he needed to step out of his own mind for a while. The game he was playing with Ian was dangerous. He had sworn that he’d never get close, too many painful memories in his past. But the ginger had clawed his way under his skin. They’d had sex a total of two times, exchanged texts only once that morning but Mickey felt himself growing attached.

**_Can I come by your place?_**

Ian’s smile widened at the text when it came through. Without even a sliver of doubt, he texted his address and ran to his bedroom, fixing his hair and using the cheap cologne Lip had bought him for his birthday. Making his way back to the couch, bottle of lube and condom in his pocket, he switched off his television and waited. Twenty minutes later, his buzzer sounded and after hearing Mickey’s voice through the intercom, he let the other man in. Waiting beside the door, trying his best to reign in his happiness, he took a deep breath when the knock finally sounded. Pulling the door open, his smile disappeared as he took Mickey in. Bruised knuckles and tears in his eyes, Mickey watched him for a moment before pushing Ian backwards and walking in, shutting the door behind him.

“Mickey, what the fuck? Are you okay?” Ian cried, his eyes scanning all over the other man.

Not wanting to talk, Mickey pushed away from the door and crashed their lips together. Ian groaned from the sudden kiss, his arms wrapping around Mickey on instinct. When Ian opened his mouth wider, Mickey slid his tongue through, the touch making Ian’s groan deepen.

“Wait,” he panted, pulling his lips away. “Mickey, what the fuck happened?”

Pressing his lips to Ian’s neck, Mickey peppered the skin with bites before soothing the marks with a kiss. Ian felt himself let go at the feeling before his hands curled into Mickey’s jacket to push the other man away. They panted heavily as they stared at one another. When Mickey tried moving back in, Ian steadied him but held the distance.

“Mickey, you’re freaking me out. Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing!” he snapped, ripping himself away from Ian’s grip. “Thought you wanted to fuck? If you don’t wanna, I’ll go fucking find someone who does!”

Stopping him before he could reach for the handle, Ian yanked him back around.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Mickey shouted and Ian quickly pulled away.

They stared at one another for several seconds as Ian tried to piece together what was happening. The terrified look in Mickey’s eyes was what finally stopped him. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ian lifted his hands in a placating gesture before closing the distance. When Mickey made no noise and simply watched him, Ian slowly lowered his hands to the sides of his neck. Deflating from the gentle touch, Mickey felt himself falling forward but Ian was there to catch him. Wrapping his arms around the shorter man, Ian left one hand on Mickey’s neck to ground him while his other rubbed circles down his back. They stayed together for several minutes until Ian finally felt Mickey’s arms circle his waist.

“Let’s go sit on the couch,” he offered, steering them across the room until they had lowered onto the cushions.

Slowly pulling away, Ian stared into Mickey’s eyes before reaching out to touch his bruised knuckles.

“Let me get something to clean this.”

Rushing to his bathroom, he grabbed his first aid kit, his eyes catching on the several pill bottles nestled on top of his counter. Quickly stuffing the bottles into his cabinet, he made his way back to the couch and took one of Mickey’s hands. The other man sat numb to the touches, staring out the window at the dark sky. Once the first hand had been cleaned, Ian moved to the next before wrapping both up with clean gauzes. Coming back to the couch after cleaning the supplies, he turned his body to face him.

“You don’t have to tell me anything but I’ll listen if you do.”

Taking a sharp breath, Mickey faced him and Ian saw the life coming back to his eyes.

“Sister showed up at my place tonight, face all bruised up,” he started. “Fucking lowlife piece of shit boyfriend. A part of me always suspected but she kept telling me she was okay. I guess I wanted to believe her. My fucking mistake.”

“The bruises on your hands, I guess you visited the guy?” Ian asked quietly.

“Beat him into the ground until they had to pull me off,” Mickey said before letting his head fall back against the couch. “Fuck.”

“I’m glad you came here.”

“Are you fucking serious? I showed up here looking like I just killed someone, ready to pounce on you and you’re glad I fucking came?” Mickey snorted. “We’ve fucked twice, Ian. I don’t know why I fucking came here.”

When the ginger stayed silent, Mickey looked over to see his smile had widened.

“You called me Ian,” he shrugged.

Laughing at the ridiculous words, Mickey turned his body fully towards him. “You’re fucking nuts, you know that?”

Ian cringed at the words but quickly schooled his expression. “We may have only fucked twice but it feels like it’s been a lot longer, don’t you think?”

Mickey sighed as he looked away. “What happened to fuck buddies?”

“I don’t want to be fuck buddies,” Ian said, his honesty dragging Mickey’s gaze back to him. “I do wanna fuck you but I wanna date you too.”

“I don’t do relationships,” Mickey reminded, his voice growing softer than before.

“I know, I remember,” Ian nodded, slowly reaching out to take Mickey’s hand, smiling when the other man allowed it. “But you had a bad night and wanted to see me. I know it’s sudden and shit but I feel connected to you. I know you’ll say I’m fucking crazy again but…”

He never had the chance to finish his thoughts when Mickey pushed forward and captured his lips. Groaning as he felt the tightness in his chest expanding, Ian reached out and pulled Mickey forward until the other man was settled on his lap. Wrapping his arms around Mickey’s body, he pulled them closer together as their kisses began to deepen. When they finally pulled away for air, they pressed their foreheads together.

“As much as I wanna fuck you into this couch right now, sex isn’t gonna happen.”

Mickey leaned back with a frown that Ian instantly smoothed with his fingers.

“You had a bad night and trusted me when you came here,” Ian smiled. “Lay down with me for a bit?”

Lowering himself onto the couch with his back against the cushions, Ian watched Mickey bite his lip as he thought over his options. Finally throwing his coat to the floor, he stretched out beside Ian, burying his face against the ginger’s chest. Smiling, Ian let his arm move around Mickey’s back as their legs tangled together on the other end. They stayed silent, neither needing to speak as their bodies laid wrapped together. Ian let his lips travel from Mickey’s cheek to his hair, leaving soft kisses anywhere he could reach.

Over an hour later, when he felt Ian drift to sleep, Mickey slowly pulled himself out of the embrace. Staring down at his peaceful face, Mickey allowed his hand to run through Ian’s hair, his thumb caressing the skin of his cheek before pulling away. Grabbing a slip of paper from the table, he scribbled a note and left it for Ian to see. Taking one final glance, Mickey grabbed his coat and quietly made his way out of the apartment.

**_I’m sorry_**


	4. FOUR

*****

Pulling out his phone, Ian stared at his screen for the hundredth time. After waking up in the morning, he’d been disappointed to find the spot beside him empty. He’d done his best to curb his own panic when Mickey had showed up at his door, his hands bruised and bloody. Understanding what had happened had allowed Ian’s nerves to settle, letting him concentrate on cleaning up the other man. When they had laid beside each other on the couch, Ian’s arms around the smaller man and Mickey allowing him to press soft kisses against his skin, the happiness he felt at their connection had made his heart beat quickly rise. Waking up alone with the small note Mickey had left him had shattered that illusion. Not having the courage to place a call, all Ian had managed was to force his fingers to glide across his screen, sending a text he desperately wanted an answer to.

**_Please just let me know that you’re okay._**

He’d forced himself to start his day, showering before making his way to the café to open up. Once Kimmy had arrived and the early customers began pouring in, all thoughts of the other man left his mind.

********

Feeling the warm sunshine against her face, Mandy opened her eyes and blinked until she recognized her brother’s apartment. Rubbing her sleep away, she sat up on the couch and ran a hand through her messy hair. As she twirled around on the cushions, her eyes caught on Mickey sitting at the kitchen table, his thumb hovering over his phone. Seeing Yev’s bedroom door still shut, she rose from the couch and made her way towards him, freezing when she saw his bruised hands.

“Mickey, what the fuck did you do?”

He let his eyes trail up to her face, watching her for a moment before looking away. “He’ll never fucking touch you again.”

“I was handling it!” she cried, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

He jumped to his feet, his muted anger spilling out. “You were fucking handling it? How, by letting him beat on you all the fucking time?”

“It wasn’t your business, Mickey!” 

“You’re my kid sister, Mandy! Someone beats on you, I’ll beat them the fuck back!” he snapped.

“Mick…”

“I couldn’t stop it with Dad but I can stop any other fuckhead that tries!”

All the fight inside Mandy instantly vanished. Mickey turned his back towards her to compose himself when a sudden pair of slender arms wrapped around his torso, clinging to him from behind.

“Thank you,” she whispered, crying into his shirt.

Everything he and Mandy had lived through growing up had forced Mickey to shield himself away from others, including his sister, the only family member he gave a damn about. She clung to his body with a strength that matched his own, refusing to let go. As much as everything in him was screaming to put some distance between them, to follow his own rules of survival and not let anyone too close, even his sister, the few days he’d spent with Ian had left it’s mark. The other man had gotten under his skin in so short a time, making him question everything from a connection they shared that left Mickey terrified. Instead of pulling away like he always had, he let his hand move to cover hers, the simple touch dragging the sobs out of his sister. They stayed locked together for several minutes, making no movement to pull away until her crying had finally stopped. Releasing him from her tight grip, she wiped her tears as he turned back around.

“Thank you,” she said again, a bit of strength returning to her voice.

He shrugged the sentiment off, feigning the indifference he’d perfected so well.

“You can stay here if you want. Take my bedroom.”

“No, I won’t take your room,” she argued. “The den’s big enough to be a third bedroom. I’ll just move into that.”

“Maybe a fucking twin bed and a dresser can go in there. Just take my fucking room.”

“Who knows what the fuck you do in there behind closed doors. I’ll be fine in the den,” she exclaimed, both letting themselves fall back into easy banter, the heaviness of earlier being set aside.

“Dad?”

They glanced over to see Yev moving towards them, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Morning, kid,” Mickey managed a smile, reaching out to ruffle his messy hair. “Go wash up. I’ll get some breakfast started.”

When Yev stood rooted in his spot, Mickey looked down to see his son staring at his hands. Exchanging a quick glance with Mandy, he lowered himself until their eyes were level.

“I’m fine, Yev. Nothing to worry about. Aunt Mandy’s gonna be staying here with us for a while.”

The young boy instantly perked up at the words, turning his beaming smile towards Mandy.

“Can we go to the park today? Daddy doesn’t work until later.”

“Yeah, buddy, that would be nice,” she smiled.

Giving his Dad a grin, he rushed off towards the bathroom and shut the door with a playful slam. Mickey made his way towards the fridge when Mandy bumped him away with her hip. With his brows raised to his hairline, he gave her a look that made her laugh.

“Do you even know how to cook?” she asked, reaching for the milk and eggs. “I remember when we were kids, Mick. I swear, boiling water was like the Mount Everest of kitchen tasks for you.”

“Well, I fucking learned,” he grumbled, grabbing the pan from the counter and switching the stovetop on. “How do you think the kid and me have been eating all this fucking time?”

“Not McDonalds?” she smiled.

“Fuck you,” he grinned, the mood instantly light.

  
********

“Oh my God, Ian. Please stop moping!” Kimmy pleaded.

He glanced up from the same spot he’d been cleaning the past ten minutes and dropped his rag. Ignoring the roll from Kimmy’s eyes, he pushed past her towards the register, using the line of customers to distract him from the ache he felt inside. Mickey still hadn’t texted back. Once the line of orders ended, he smiled at an elderly couple as they made their way outside.

“Since when did you get all sentimental?” Kimmy chuckled, moving to lean on the counter beside him. “Talk to me, Ian. What’s up with you?”

He hesitated for a moment before deflating. “Mickey showed up last night at my apartment.”

“The ‘best sex you ever had’ Mickey?”

“Yes,” he hissed, glancing around the scattered people lounging at the tables before turning back to her. “He had a bad night and showed up. I think he wanted comfort more than anything. We ended up just falling asleep on the couch and when I woke up this morning, he was gone. Just left a note that said ‘I’m sorry’. What the fuck does that even mean?”

She tilted her head, watching him for a thoughtful moment before grabbing a mug to pour herself some coffee.

“Maybe he just wasn’t interested anymore or something,” she shrugged. “Why do you even care? Aren’t you the ‘King of One Night Stands’ at Boystown?”

He looked away, hating the reputation that followed him like a second shadow. She sensed the hurt he was feeling and took a small step towards him.

“Don’t tell me you fell for the guy?”

When Ian refused to meet her gaze, she released an incredulous laugh.  
  
“You actually fell for him?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, glancing towards the front windows. “I just know what I felt but I can’t…”

His words abruptly ended as he stared through the window to the other side of the street.

“Ian?” Kimmy asked, reaching out to tap his shoulder.

Instead of answering, he rushed past the counter and made his way towards the door, throwing it open and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Once the light turned green and the bus moved out of frame, Ian felt the ache inside his chest grow until his breath ran out. He watched as Mickey made his way down the other side of the street, holding a little boy’s hand with a young woman at his side, laughing as they walked. When the trio made a turn around the corner towards the neighbourhood park, Ian snapped out of his daze and fell back against the door. Closing his eyes, he let his hands travel to his hair, pulling on the strands before remembering where he was. Walking back inside the shop, he ignored Kimmy’s gaze as he moved past the counter to the small kitchen. Leaving the other employee behind the register, she quickly turned to follow, finding him leaning against the small table with a hurt look in his eyes.

“I just saw him walking down the street with a beautiful woman and a kid between them,” he offered, sniffling angrily.

“Shit, Ian. I’m sorry,” she sighed, taking a step towards him.

Glancing up at her, he could see she had more to say and rolled his eyes, waving at her to spit it out.

“All I’m saying is that you’ve done this yourself countless times,” she started. “You’ve been the one who didn’t call or text back, you’ve been the one who lied about who you were or what you were looking for. How is this any different?”

“He’s married with a kid!” Ian snapped, letting his hand trail through his strands. “That’s fucking wrong, Kimmy.”

“Wasn’t Ned married when you guys hooked up?” she asked and quickly shook her head when his glare intensified. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything. Just that this stuff happens sometimes. Did he lead you on? If he did, he totally sucks more than he already does.”

“He kept saying he didn’t want anything serious,” he sighed. “Why the fuck does it hurt this much?”

“Are you gonna call him?”

“Call him and say what? I saw him with his wife and kid? Tell him he’s a douchebag? No fucking thanks.”

He rubbed harshly at his face and walked past her back outside. She quickly followed, apology on her tongue when he held his hand up to stop her.

“I may have been the one fucking around before and yeah, him and me only saw each other three times. Guess it really did mean more to me than it did to him,” he grumbled. “But he’s married with a kid and that’s fucking wrong no matter what.”  
  
He stormed back into the kitchen, the slamming door telling her to stay out.   


********  


Mickey sat at the bench, the top of his coveralls tied around his waist, a line of engine oil smeared across his undershirt. He twirled his phone in his hand, staring at the busy street outside. A part of him wanted to text Ian and apologize, guilty for the way he had left after what Ian had done for him last night. The part of him that held onto the trauma of the last few years begged him to leave it alone, to keep his distance from the ginger and go back to fucking randoms a few nights a month. But something about Ian had made Mickey want to go back and let the other man fuck him in his car the second time. Something had made Mickey seek Ian out after beating Kenyatta. Ian was different from all the other back alley randoms and Mickey knew that. He was different from all his secret one night stands, guys who were nothing more than a way to scratch an itch he’d tried so long to deny. With Ian, he wanted more. He wanted to let another man kiss him for the first time. He wanted Ian, plain and simple, and that scared Mickey more than anything else had in a long time.

He ran his hand across his face and dropped his phone on the bench, closing his eyes and letting the late afternoon noise from outside soothe his nerves. When he felt a shadow blocking the sunlight, he snapped his eyes back open to see Eddie peering down, watching him with a thoughtful look.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

Mickey swallowed but gave a small nod.

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you right now, that’s been bothering you ever since you started working here, if you tell me, I’ll listen.”

Mickey managed a snort before replying. “You wanna hold hands and talk about our fucking feelings next? I’m fine, man.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, knowing the walls were already back up. “You were smiling more every day you worked this past week and now you’re not. Whatever it was that was making you happy, or at least happier than your usual grumpy self, maybe figure out a way to hold onto that.”

With a shrug, he made his way to his office in the back. Mickey watched him go, letting the words settle before grabbing his phone. Bringing up his texts with Ian, he took a breath and started typing.

**_Sorry for disappearing on you last night. Have a lot of shit going on in my life._**

He quickly sent the text and started gathering his things when he felt his phone vibrate with a reply.

**_Fuck you. Lose my fucking number, asshole._**

“The fuck?” he muttered.

He’d expected Ian to be upset with his disappearing act but the text was too angry for Mickey to understand. Before he could send his reply, a loud laughter caught his attention. Peering up from his phone, he watched as two men started their slow approach towards him. When they stepped into the sunlight from the shadows, Mickey slowly rose from the bench.

“What the fuck do you guys want?”

“Mickey, Mickey, Mickey,” the taller of the two taunted, letting a leery smile fill his face.

Walking closer so the others in the garage wouldn’t hear, Mickey lifted his chin and scowled. “Need me to fucking ask you again?”

“We saw your little stunt at the Alibi the other night,” the same man snorted, lifting a hammer from the tool bench at his side. “Thought you got the fuck out of Chicago.”

“Yeah, well, I fucking can’t. Parole conditions.”

The men grinned at one another and Mickey felt a chill move down his spine, knowing he had given away too much.

“That’s good, Mickey. That’s really good,” the man said before dropping the hammer back down with a loud thud. “We’ll see you around, kid.”

He kept the mean look in his eyes long enough for the men to leave the garage. The moment they were gone, he fell back onto the bench, fisting his hands to stop them from trembling.

“Who the hell were those guys?”

Whirling around towards Eddie, Mickey blinked a few times to get his composure.

“No one. Just some old guys from my neighbourhood,” he shook his head, jumping back to his feet. “Am I good to clock out for the night?”

Eddie watched him for a beat until he finally gave in and sighed. “Get out of here. See you tomorrow.”

Making his way to the small locker he had in the back, he slipped his coveralls off and tossed them inside. Untucking his undershirt from his jeans, he slammed the locker shut and made his way outside, glancing up and down the sidewalk before rushing towards the El. With his work finished earlier, he knew he had an hour before Mandy expected him back. He hesitated as both trains reached the platform and made a quick decision before he could chicken out.

Fifteen minutes later, he stood outside Ian’s apartment door, wondering how fucking crazy he really was. Maybe the other man was out, maybe he’d slam the door in his face. All Mickey knew, going off his gut, was that it was worth it to try. Knocking on the door with his fist, he took a quick breath when he heard movement from inside. The second the door pulled open, Ian stared at him bewildered until his eyes narrowed. Before he could slam it back shut, Mickey threw his leg against the door, the suddenness catching Ian by surprise.

“Can I fucking come inside for a minute?”

Ian chuckled, his disbelief showing on his face but he moved to the side and waved him in. When he heard the loud slam behind him, he whirled back around, his own anger rising.

“Look, man, I fucking get you’re pissed I left last night! But we’ve only known each other for a couple fucking weeks!”

“If you were scared or some shit, I’d get it. But I don’t like being dicked around or fucking lied to!” Ian spat, stepping closer until their chests were almost touching.

“When did I fucking lie to you?”

“When I saw you with your fucking family!” Ian cried, the hurt he’d been trying to mute bleeding through his words.

“Am I fucking missing something here? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw you walking with your wife and kid,” Ian said, taking a deep breath, “and before you call me a fucking stalker, you walked right past the coffee shop I work at!”

Mickey stared at him for several beats before laughter worked its way through his body. Ian’s expression switched from fury to confusion as he watched Mickey bend over to get his laughter under control.

“Fucking hell. That was my sister!”

Ian’s face remained confused for another moment before realization made his eyes widen, a slight blush covering his cheeks.

“The kid’s mine but she was my sister,” Mickey said once his laughter had died down.

“The same sister whose piece of shit boyfriend you beat last night?” Ian asked and when Mickey nodded, he ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “Fuck.”

Mickey watched the different emotions play out on the other man’s face until it settled on regret. Before he could try and apologize, Mickey felt that need within him to cut and run spring back up.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” he mumbled, moving past Ian to reach for the handle.

He suddenly felt a pair of hands pull him back around, pinning him against the door.

“I’m sorry for assuming shit,” Ian started, his voice pleading with Mickey to understand. “You disappeared on me last night and then I saw you with a beautiful girl and a kid. What the fuck else was I supposed to think?”

Mickey let his shoulders drop as his head fell back against the frame. They stared at one another for several seconds and when Ian felt the other man would stay where he was, he let his hands fall away and took a step back. Before he could move more than a few inches, Mickey grabbed his shirt and yanked him back in. He stared down at Ian’s lips for a brief second, long enough for Ian’s eyes to darken. Taking a deep breath, Mickey ducked away from the closeness and moved towards the couch, falling down onto the cushions with a huff. Ian was quick to follow, sitting down and turning his body to fully face him.

“So you have a son?” he started.

“Yeah,” Mickey sighed. “Name’s Yevgeny.”

“That’s a mouthful,” Ian smiled.

“Mom was Russian,” Mickey shrugged, his voice going low the way it always did when he thought of her.

“So you’re Bi then?” Ian asked after a moment.

Mickey hesitated, letting the memories of one of the worse nights of his life fill his mind before shaking his head. He could tell Ian was aching to ask him more questions from the fidgeting of his hands but was grateful when he didn’t. The silence stretched a while longer until Ian finally laughed, the sound bringing Mickey’s gaze to his for the first time since they sat.

“I don’t even know your last name.”

“Milkovich,” he muttered, watching Ian frown for just a moment before letting whatever thought had appeared wash away.

“Gallagher,” Ian said with a shy smile.

“Wanna shake hands next? Fuck,” Mickey rolled his eyes but he bit his cheek to stop his smile when Ian laughed.

“We’re a couple of idiots, aren’t we?” Ian asked when his laughter had calmed. “Mickey, I don’t wanna be your fuck buddy. I think my reaction to thinking your sister was your wife kind of proved that.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Mickey let his hands tangle together on his lap. “What if that’s all I can fucking give you?”

He felt Ian’s hand across his cheek and closed his eyes, leaning into the touch despite his own words. Ian pulled him until their chests were pressed together, letting his thumb rub small circles against Mickey’s cheek. Blue eyes stared into his green and Ian easily saw the terrified fear that was boiling just under the surface.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he started. “But it fucking killed me when I thought you had a wife. Pissed because I thought you lied to me like so many fucking others in my past but scared because I thought I lost you before I even had you.”

“You can’t fucking say shit like that, man,” Mickey argued, separating himself and rising to his feet. “We don’t even fucking know each other!”

“I want to change that,” Ian offered, pulling Mickey in by his hips and letting his arms wrap around him.

He watched as Mickey bit his lip, a war raging inside his eyes. When he finally reached out and touched Ian’s cheek, all Ian could do was smile.

“Fuck,” Mickey whispered. “I don’t fucking date or whatever. I don’t kiss.”

“Okay,” Ian nodded. “How about we just spend some time together? Just be with each other, no pressure.”

Before Mickey could open his mouth, Ian wrapped his arms even tighter as he peered up at him.

“But can we be exclusive?” he asked, swallowing his sudden nerves as he watched Mickey’s reaction. “It doesn’t have to mean anything and we don’t have to if you don’t want. Fuck, just forget I said anything.”

“Would you give me a fucking minute?” Mickey huffed, almost laughing at how quickly Ian shut his mouth. “Look, man, I don’t do this shit and I got a whole fuck tonne of reasons why I don’t.”

He licked his lips nervously as Ian watched him and finally deflated.

“Just don’t fucking expect much from me,” he added. “But yeah, I guess. Whatever, man.”

Ian’s bright smile made Mickey want to lean down and break his own kissing rule but he held himself back and rolled his eyes.

“I gotta go,” he said and finally pulled himself away from Ian’s embrace.

“When can I see you again?” Ian asked and held his hands up with a laugh when Mickey shot him a glare. “I got it, no expectations.”

Swinging the door open, Mickey paused before leaving and turned back around a final time. “Thanks for last night.”

Ian leaned down and pressed a kiss against Mickey’s bare shoulder. They stared at one another for a charged moment until Mickey spun around and walked out. When he saw Ian grinning at his door, he stormed into the elevator and heard the other man’s laughter before the doors shut.

He was on the El and heading home before he finally let his breathing calm. Staring at the people around him as he rode the train towards his apartment, he searched for the two faces in the crowd. His anxiety from Ian had dimmed, replaced by an even deeper fear he had tried so hard to hide.


End file.
